DOUBLE O DID YOU KNOW:

Did you know that in the 50 years of the James Bond franchise, 007 has not set foot in either Australia or Canada? Seriously. Dude's been all over the world, gone balls deep in hundreds of ladies — and maybe even a couple of dudes… 

Yeah, I'm talking about YOU Roger Moore! 

But duty has never called him up to the Great White North or Down Under to defend Queen and country. 

The reason for this is obvious, both those places suck. I mean, look at 'em. 

Not a Subway or Starbucks for miles! Is this what Hell looks like? 

Well now my purpose is clear, I am destined to rectify this oversight by penning a screenplay that gets 007's ass in both locales and his dick in all their women. 

Standard issue equipped with lasers and grenade launchers.
Plus they're ribbed for HER pleasure so that's nice too.

Coming never to a theater nowhere near anyone, 007 in: Koalas Die Cold.

Oh and yeah, I said duty before. Heh heh… sounds like poop.