REALLY?

We're doing this crap again Red Sox? Just like the old days, September comes and you fall apart like the Bluesmobile after Jake and Elwood finally make it to city hall? (That scene still cracks me up.) But the Blues Brothers had 106 miles of hard and fast driving to go through before the old girl fell apart on them. You only had to hold on to nine games, Sox… NINE GAMES! And you just… you just… DAMMIT!

But as a fan of Boston sports I get to have a rather unique outlook on the matter. For me, nothing will ever be as bad as what happened to the Patriots perfect season a few years ago. (WHY GOD, WHY?) And even as tragic as that was, it was all those previous years of Sox frustration that had hardened my heart enough to cope with the Super Bowl devastation and the loss of perfection. So wait… years of Red Sox inflicted heartache helped me cope with Patriots grief, which in turn is helping me deal with current Red Sox despair? Yeah, that can't be a healthy cycle.

Anyway, the worse part of it all… yup, Yankee fans. Get to hear all about how great their team is because they've won twenty-seven World Series championships and now they're Division Champs and on a quest for number twenty-eight. Which really gets to me since the most vociferous Yankee fans I know have only been alive on the planet for the last seven Series championships. Except for Walt, the crazy old man who lives up the street from me with his mangy dog, Clipper. I think he's been around for all twenty-seven titles. Hell, I think Clipper has too. So from Walt I'll take the guff.

Fortunately each season comes with a reset button. Spring will come, we'll wipe the slate clean and start again fresh. But for now… DAMMIT!

And The Nominees Aren't…

So the 2012 nominees for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame were announced recently and as you might already know by now, (if you give a crap that is) both progressive metal pioneers Rush and Kabuki freaks KISS are absent from the list yet again. Disco queen Donna Summer made the list though, as did R&B group The Spinners, right along with rap pioneers Eric B. and Rakim. And they're all very deserving of the honor, I'm sure. It's just that I can't ever recall tuning in to a classic rock station and hearing some raspy voiced 60s reject deejay tell me: "Now it's time to rock out with Donna Summer's She Works Hard for the Money".

No, never happened. You know what I did get from stations like WPLJ and 99 The FOX? A steady diet of Rush's Spirit of Radio and Tom Sawyer, as well as more Led Zeppelin than anyone should ever be exposed to in one lifetime. And KISS for God's sake, Rock and Roll All Night, the biggest hit they ever had, one of the greatest rock anthems of all time, and BONUS, it has the words rock and roll right in the freaking title! Still they get nothing. WTF?

I'm sorry, I realize the Powers-That-Be are using "Rock & Roll" in the broadest sense of the term. I also realize that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter. Both bands still have legions of loyal fans, KISS even has an army, watching Gene Simmons on reality TV and buying up anything the man will put their logo on. But… really? Jazz great Miles Davis was inducted in 2006. Madonna was inducted in 2008. Abba got inducted just last year, no doubt on the strength of the balls out power chords of Mama Mia alone. Yet these two throwbacks to the bygone days of arena rock are still waiting in the wings for the HoF voting committee to exhaust all other possible candidates before they get their shot at enshrinement. Fingers crossed boys, soon as The Osmonds and Barry Manilow get the nod, you're next.

Sympathy for the Sea King

A very good friend of mine, upon finding out that I was doing this whole blog thing, jokingly said to me: "Make sure you write about your favorite superhero since you have such strong, almost improper feelings for him."

If you haven't figured by now — what with the title and the picture of the blond guy with the trident — she's talking about Aquaman, one of the most maligned superheroes to ever walk (or swim) the face of comicdom. And coincidentally, seeing as it was seventy years ago yesterday, September 25, 1941 that he made his first comic appearance, it seemed like a good time to show the fish man a little love.

Before I go any further though I need to make one thing clear, Aquaman's not my favorite hero and I have no improper feelings for him as my friend would have you believe. I've always been more into Batman myself. (Not exactly helping my cause by phrasing it like that.) Just that those who know me have heard me speak up for the A-man whenever others are piling on, calling him a lame character and all. For this reason, I have been falsely branded an Aqua-Fan. Well that and quite possibly the Aquaman T-shirt that I used to own. (It was a gift!)

Now without going into a whole lot of geek speak (which I could do for hours, it's like a sickness) let me just lay out a few facts about why the King of the Seven Seas isn't as sorry a super hero as 95% of the world might think.

FACT: His dense musculature makes him bulletproof. He also has enhanced strength, reflexes, speed and vision, making him a pretty tough customer on dry land. As long as he stays hydrated that is.

FACT: There's the whole aquatic telepathy thing which is pretty cool… good for when terrorists attack a yacht club or the maritime center.

FACT: Um…for a brief time he had a hook where his left hand used to be. That was kind of badass. But he was rebooted back to having two normal hands so that ended that.

FACT: There's the orange and green suit… which doesn't help the guy's case at all so I probably shouldn't have even brought it up in the first place.

FACT: Look, the guy can breathe underwater and talk to fish. Can you do that? No, I didn't think so. That means that at the very least he's not as crappy a superhero as you would be.

Besides, there are other heroes out there that are even worse. There's the Atom for instance, that guy gets small for a living. That's it, goes from normal sized man to tiny man. Other than giving the most thorough colonoscopy humanly possible, what good is he? But Aquaman's the one who gets ridiculed instead of Super Tiny Ass-Doctor?

Whatever… Happy 70th Aquaman!

Writers write.

That's what they tell me. They being writers, so they should know. Am I a writer? I like to think so. I've written short stories, I've written novels, I've written screenplays, so yeah, that qualifies me to say I am a writer. Am I a professional writer? Well since all of the aforementioned literary endeavors remain as yet unsold and in most cases unread then… you get the point.

Still, professional or not, writers write, just what they do, something in the blood I guess. I don't really know why, I'm not a scientist, I'm just another fool starting a blog. "Look at me world, I'm on the Internet… with absolutely no idea what I'm gonna say next." But worrying about where the next idea is coming from, that's not what writers do. I think I've been pretty clear about what writers do, that dead horse has been beaten enough — God rest its soul. This is me doing it. Writing I mean, this is me writing… not beating horse corpses. Although equine violence would probably get me more hits.

Thanks for your time and I hope you'll check back once in a while.