RAISON D'ETRE

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno died of lung cancer early Sunday morning. (No shit Ron, way to get a scoop!) Now I'm not going to eulogize the man or talk about his tarnished legacy, the whole boy-touching scandal thing or any other such stuff. Not gonna talk about what he did or didn't do or should have done, what he knew or when he knew it, I think there's been enough said about all that. And frankly, the subject just turns my stomach so best left alone unless you want me vomiting on my keyboard. Is that it? Is that what you want? Yeah, didn't think so.

But I do want to talk about one aspect of the whole sorry tale that has nothing to do with nastiness and that's just how quickly the end seemed to have come for the man. Now I have no idea what went on with his health as of late, but from my perspective as a fan of college football, the man seemed as fine as he'd been for the last few years right up until the time that he was fired from his position. Forty-six years as college coaching royalty and then it was all just over for him, out on the street like a regular schlub. A week later he looked like hell, understandable considering the shitstorm he was caught out in. Then soon after he was diagnosed with lung cancer, broke his hip, went downhill fast and then shuffled his ass off this mortal coil. (What the hell does that even mean anyway?)

The man was just gone within three short months of his dismissal. And while it's not unusual for a man of his advanced years (He was 85 BTW.) to go so quickly after a diagnosis like that, I can't help but wonder: did getting fired play a factor? The man literally lost everything he had to live for. Without Penn State football what did he have left? His wife, his kids, grandkids, people who loved him? YAWN! JoPa's death could be seen as proof of what I've been saying all along…FOOTBALL IS LIFE! Totally possibly that if not for the scandal that got him kicked out, he might be alive today, out there recruiting young warriors to follow him onto the field of honor to battle for glory, for blood, for victory… FOR SPARTA!

JOE PATERNO: THE EARLY YEARS.

The lesson here is find something to keep you on this Earth for as long as you can. That's what Raison d'Etre means, it's French for 'reason to exist'. And if you try to convince yourself that family is the answer then you're a fool. Already told you, Paterno had that shit and it did him no good. He died anyway while they just stood around and let him instead of hatching some complex hair-brained scheme to convince him he was still a coach. He was 85 for God's sake! How hard would that have been? You get the local high-school team to let him stand on the sidelines and pretend to listen to what he's saying. Give him an empty clipboard and a whistle and the guy thinks he's back in the saddle again. Could've lived another ten or fifteen years like that. So family is all well and good and everything, makes for a nice holiday card, keeps you from looking like a sad-ass loser at restaurants and gets you a couple of tax breaks. Other than that… f@%king useless! As for me, what do I love enough to stick around for? Too late to seek a career in football and apparently, organ harvesting is illegal. So what's out there for me?

Guess I'll just go with my love of boobs. Loving them has kept me around this long and I'll trust that love to keep me going well into my golden years. So ladies, if you care about me, if you love me, if you don't want me to die, then by all means show 'em to me. Hell, even if you don't give a crap about me and just need to make a couple extra bucks in this shitty economy, works for me too. I got spare change.

YEAH, BRUCE WILLIS KNOWS
WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.

And while I've got you here and we're on the subject of football, (before) just gonna go ahead and mention that the New England Patriots are back in the Super Bowl. And once again it's the hated New York Giants that stand between us and hoisting the Lombardi Trophy. If we win and take revenge for what happened back in 2008, then all will be right with the universe and I'll finally be able to sleep through the night. If they lose… if they don't… I don't even wanna think about that because they're not gonna lose. Right God? We made a deal, remember? Sacrifices were made!

One last thing. Couple months ago on this blog I talked about some television shows that I was digging and one of those fine programs was the NBC cop drama Prime Suspect. Well NBC has since pulled the plug on the show, stopped production on it around the same time I gave it praise. They aired the last two episodes this past Sunday just to fulfill some contractual obligations. Great show but not the world's sexiest cast playing the roles and I think that's why it didn't catch on. I mean, how are they supposed to get noticed over shows like this?

EVERYONE'S SO FIT AND WET AND SHINY.

Not one person in that photo is even Hawaiian. I call bullshit!