WHITE IS BLACK:

Well it's been almost a year since I started this thing, roughly eleven months since I began — as the title implies — telling you stuff for nothing. But as with everything in life, this too must change. The time has come to start a new chapter in the life of this hobby, this labor of love, this thing I call blog. And so beginning August 1st, I will no longer be telling you this or any other thing for nothing. Beginning August 1st this site will become a membership site and I'll be telling you things for a monthly fee. A Paypal account and link will be set up to allow you to…

"Good… your greed has made you powerful… and stupid."

Okay, I've just been informed by counsel that this is a horrible idea and I'm a complete dumbass for even considering it because no one wants to pay to hear a goddamn thing I have to say. So change is in the air once again as I will be reverting back to my previous agenda of exorcising my demons for nothing and inviting you to bear witness to my break down for free.

Although, since nothing ever actually changed except my mind, then this entire thing was all unnecessary, a pointless waste of both my time and yours. But it was free, just as it's always been. And as always, your welcome. 

"Fighting crime with my Bat-Stare!"

So The Dark Knight Rises hit theaters this weekend and I think by now we all know how that turned out for the poor people in Aurora, Colorado. Not a damned thing funny about any of that but as with the rest of the nation my thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families. And I implore congress to seriously consider bringing back crucifixion in cases such as these.

As for the film itself… well I can't comment on that since I haven't seen it yet. Not that I was afraid to go or anything, just that other stuff came up, that's all. So if you've seen it already, don't say anything and spoil it for me! But besides getting to see the final installment of the Dark Knight trilogy, there's another reason I was looking forward to hitting the cinema — and I still am excited, fuck you very much to that theater shooting piece of shit whose name I refuse to mention — and that other reason was the release of the first Man of Steel trailer. Heard all sorts of good buzz about this one from various sources who saw advance footage at the San Diego Comic-Con last week. One report even claimed that the shit was so good it man a dude cry. Seriously, check it out HERE. Now you tell me some shit like that and I have just got to see for myself, couldn't wait to get my ass into a theater seat and see what all the waterworks was about. 

"My stare comes with heat vision, so SUCK IT, Bats!

Imagine my surprise when the trailer dropped online the other day and turned out to NOT be the stuff of legend, not the tear inducing footage that fans got to see at Comic-Con. Instead it was just some boring-ass shots of a bearded Clark Kent hitchhiking along an Alaskan road, working on a fishing boat and doing eighty seconds of other stuff that sucks. (No disrespect to real fishermen but come on.) And all this yawn inducing fluff goes on while a Kevin Costner voice-over drones on about choosing destiny and being a good man, eating all your veggies, staying in school and not doing drugs. Sure the last five seconds shows a red and blue blur flying across the screen but that shit comes too little too late to save the day.

Look, up in the sky… it's… it's boring.

Still, that's a very small complaint about a film that I haven't even seen yet. In fact, I actually have a better feeling about this film now considering that seven years ago when I saw the trailer for Superman Returns I was blown away and thought that was going to be the most awesome film ever. Then I paid $8.00 to watch Bryan Singer piss all over the silver screen and try to call it art. So a crappy trailer might be a good omen for this one.

Of course there are others out there bitching about something even more trivial than a bad trailer, there are people upset about the fact that Laurence Fishburne was cast as Daily Planet editor Perry White. Because in the comics, in the TV shows, in all the Superman films that have gone before, Perry White is always… well White is always white. Seems that some feel that this is too important a part of the Superman mythos to change.

"I don't care if the other guys said it… 'Great Caesar's ghost'
ain't coming outta my mouth."

Fishburne joins the ranks of several other black thespians who have taken jobs from white actors in super hero flicks over the past few years. Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury in the Avengers, Michael Clarke Duncan as Wilson (Kingpin) Fisk in Daredevil, Kerry Washington as Alicia Master in Fantastic Four and Idris Elba as Heimdall in Thor are all guilty of taking food out of the mouths of children of white actors and thus proving once again that there's simply no justice in Hollywood these days. Of course the Fishburne flack is mostly just the bitching and moaning of a small group of bigoted 45 year-old virgins. Nowhere near as ridiculous as when the Council of Conservative Citizens came out last year and organized a boycott of the movie Thor because of the aforementioned casting of Idris Elba as the Norse god Heimdall. For the true stupidity of that to come through I guess it should be mentioned that the Council of Conservative Citizens — whom the Southern Poverty Law Center have classified as a hate group — believe the U.S. to be a Christian country, yet took issue with a black man being cast as a Norse deity.

Although I haven't heard or seen anything from the CCC about Fishburne playing Perry White, I wouldn't be at all surprised. However, if Fishburne plays White as anything other than a bitter old pill of a man, angry about forced early retirement and screaming at Superman to quit screwing up his dish reception with all that flying around like a goddamn fairy, then we should all call bullshit no matter what his race.

As if any of this matters anyway. Still not gonna beat those damned Avenger a-holes at the box office so why even bother trying anymore. Can't even believe I'm saying this, but the super hero film thing has no where to go but down from here. Marvel's recent announcement of an Ant-Man movie pretty much… Yeah, I said Ant-Man. Not even gonna bother finding an image of the guy. Here, just look at the Avengers one more time and walk away.

"Hey guys, have WE stopped making money yet? I didn't think so."