GETTING TO BE A HABIT:

Seems that at this same time last year I sat on this very spot and attended to the sad business of bidding a fond farewell to then departing Red Sox manager Terry Francona.

(Sniff) Miss you man. 

Well technically it wasn't exactly at THIS same time. The Francona thing was posted on October 1st of 2011, whereas this one's going out on the 5th this year so I'm a couple days off. And I guess I'm — technically — not really sitting in the same place as I was back then. I mean, it'd be crazy to think I'd be in precisely the same spot as I was a whole year ago. Even though I'm sitting in the same chair at the same desk, odds are that I'd be out of position by a foot or two or perhaps even… 3,226,080 feet as it turns out, give or take a couple inches. (You do the math.) I am however wearing the exact same clothes as I was back on 10/1/11, I know that for certain because I was breaking in a new pair of overalls at the time and they're just about ready. 

"Trust me Ron, you keep at it and when they's
all broken in… Ohh man, you gonna be lookin'
good as me, I'll tell you what." 

But here I am again — deja vu and all that — saying goodbye to another Red Sox manager. This time it's Bobby Valentine taking the walk of shame outta Beantown after a 69-93 season, worst Sox record since… since… for a while now I guess. I don't really know. When it comes to baseball I'm not really a stats guy. I'm more of a — "Hey, what the hell happened? Why's everyone cheering? What'd I miss? I was getting another hot dog. Did someone do something cool? Where's the instant replay so I can…? Hey, pretzel guy, gimme two over here!" — kinda guy.

Still, even as a longtime fan who wants nothing but the best for the Sox I gotta say, tossing the guy after only one season seems pretty effed up. Considering the sad way the team ended last season, brought in a new GM, dealt with rumors of alcohol in the bullpen and lost several key players — most notably the captain Jason Varitek — just doesn't feel like they really gave Bobby a chance.

I wouldn't be so angry if I didn't care so much.

Then there was mid-season turmoil as some of the players turned into whiny bitches and from what little I read on the subject, it's my understanding that Valentine might not have been allowed to bring in his own staff when he came on board. That being the case, I just don't think the guy was given a fair shot. I mean look at Joe Girardi, the current skipper of the (hated) New York Yankees. As a result of his inaugural season as manager, the (f@%king) team missed the playoffs for the first time since the strike-shortened season of 1993. And being the (damned) Yankees with the sense of entitlement the team and its (bastard) fans have strutted around with since (jerkoff) Jeter first put on the pinstripes, this was considered by the (cock sucking) organization as nothing less than an abject failure. 

Have to admit though, those pinstripes are quite stylish. 

Even so, did they fire Girardi after one season? Nope, kept him on and let him spread his wings. And the result? Yet another World Series championship for the (god damned) club the very next season. Could this have happened in Boston? Could the 2013 Red Sox have owned the east and gone on to hoist the Commissioner's Trophy after sucking so bad only one season ago? We'll never know now, will we? Sox just gave up on Bobby V. before he had a chance to find his groove. And if my experience breaking in these overalls has taught me anything, it's the value of perseverance because these babies are coming along nicely. And if they weren't permanently and painfully grafted to my body after a year without removing or washing them… well, let's just say there's a few regrets here and leave it at that.

So here's to you Bobby Valentine. Red Sox Nation thanks you for your service, appreciates the challenges you faced and wishes you the best of luck in all your future… whatever. Yadda yadda yadda, now just get the f@%k outta here already. 

I might've gone too far this time. That guy looks pissed.

Guess the Sox gotta start the process of finding a new manager now. Probably take some time and interview a bunch of people and all that careful stuff. You know who I'm thinking might be perfect for the gig, even if you hadn't peeked at the picture below. That's right…TOM F@%KING BRADY FOR THE WIN, BITCHES! 

Look at him, even has his own hat already. He's perfect!

Hey, it could happen! Hell, no one expected Michael Strahan's freakish ass to replace Regis Philbin either. Yet there he is every morning with Kelly Rippa, looking like he's about to throw her over his shoulder and carry her up to a damn bell tower or something. So if someone was drunk or high enough to make that happen then I'm gonna hold my hopes out for TFB to lead the Sox to the World Series next season right after he leads the Patriots to another Super Bowl this year… AND WINS IT THIS TIME!

He's gonna be a busy boy. Probably gonna need a nap or something.